40 in 40: #13

I am not a very good bold faced liar. I get a squeamish look on my face when I try and anyone with any intuition whatsoever can tell that I am lying.

So if it is a question like “Is it black or white?” the answer comes out truthfully, naturally, and easily.

But I did learn at an early age that a white lie or a “little bit” of confusion around an issue could be helpful. I also learned that withholding information was often a good thing in my mind.

I remember early in marriage thinking:

“If I tell Elise __________ then she will __________.”

I didn’t directly lie but I didn’t divulge the whole truth about everything. I was trying to manage the flow of information to get a certain result.

And it had nothing to do with Elise. Elise is the least nagging, most accepting, easiest to be honest with person I know.

One of my heroes tells a story about a little girl in Sunday School that is asked “What is a lie?”. Her response is priceless:

“A lie is an abomination to God and an ever present help in times of trouble.”

Lesson #13

The truth is your friend.

No one wakes up thinking: I can’t wait to be dishonest today. Everyone wants to be honest. And most think they are.

But very few people are willing to open up to a level of honesty that is truly freeing and helpful. Far fewer people are willing to live transparently.

For me it took a difficult financial time in the early 2000′s to help learn this lesson. Back then I had a real fear that Elise would find out just how bad things were and how much we needed things to turn around.

The real fears were deep insecurities as a husband, dad, and providor. The hidden, deeply rooted fears like “maybe your just not good enough.”

But somehow in the midst of the fears I took tiny steps towards a more transparent life. And I’m so glad I did. There is freedom in transparency. There is freedom in honesty.

I’m not 100% transparent yet. But I’ve come a long way.

What fears or insecurities cause you to struggle with the truth? Are you moving toward or away from transparency?

Keep moving forward,

Greg

40 in 40: #12

I was getting ready to walk out the door Sunday at 3pm to head out for what I hoped to be a great workout and competitive game of Ultimate in Hamden.

I was having a terrific weekend: finally got my home office cleaned out, had a 16 mile long run Saturday morning, went swimming with kids, church, football, etc. A great pre-fall weekend.

I was also looking forward to this week. We have a number of new projects kicking off; I love working on new client projects. I had a few other personal goals this week to accomplish also.

Then the phone rang.

“Dad I broke me leg.”

That changed everything and fast. My week has been in flux ever since.

Here are the highlights of the last 72 hours:

• In and out of the ER three times over the first 24 hours.
• Ortho consulation about 24 hours later.
• Surgery 24 hours after that.
• 24 hours later we are hoping the excruciating pain from the injury and surgery will subside enough to go home.

It hasn’t been much fun.

I went from my normal “go get ‘em, I create a plan and go execute on it” week to completely out of control and dependent on other people instantaneously.

Lesson #12

Create the best plan that you can then prepare to be fluid.

I love planning and trying to execute. I could get a lot better at it but I enjoy it. But in reality all I can control are a few variables. Then I have to be flexible and move with where life goes.

The lesson doesn’t mean you give up the plan or live a plan free life. It’s that you plan the best you can and then adapt as you go. This creates freedom and ability to improve the plan along the way. There will be tension. But you can handle the tension.

When was the last time your week was entirely thrown out of whack by events that you couldn’t control? How do you modify your plan to achieve the results you were looking for?

Keep moving forward,

Greg

p.s. Here’s the result of the surgery (got some nifty hardware):

House show tonight: music, wine, and an evening together

Jeremy Casella

Everything that’s right about acoustic music: traditional means with new expression and stunning melodies.

Brody Bond, Creative Principal Blue Ocean Ideas

Details

Who

Anyone. Come as you are.

Where

The Rittler’s

When

Friday, September 9

7:30pm